The Mystery

mysterion - that which awaits disclosure

mysterium fidei - mystery of faith; "a mystery hidden in God which can never be known unless revealed by God"

In our church service, before Eucharist, the pastor and congregation speak the mystery of our faith:

Christ has died.

Christ is risen.

Christ will come again.

This phrase (or a form of it) is also spoken as part of the Catholic liturgy prior to Eucharist (which itself is part of the mystery).  It is spoken by millions of believers around the world uniting us all.    

The use of the word "mystery" is not to reference something waiting to be figured out….the "who done it??".  When we speak of the mystery of our faith we are speaking of something that, until coming to an understanding through the Holy Spirit, one can not *fully* comprehend the depth and meaning of that mystery.  The truth was there the whole time but until it is revealed, one can not fully and completely grasp the meaning and it may seem unimportant.  And yet….there still remains a mystical element.  Even though the mystery of our faith can be illuminated, there remains a great deal of mystery within the faith yet to be revealed.  The mystery of how the Kingdom is with us but not yet with us.  The mystery of the afterlife.  The mystery of what the Kingdom on Earth will look like.  And so on.    

I came upon one website (http://www.americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CAT/aj0207.asp) that related the mystery of the Eucharist and other elements of faith to that of a wedding ring.  Symbols of a real, tangible relationship that can not be fully comprehended.  A beautiful analogy.

Visible yet hidden.  Here but not yet.  Until He comes and makes all known to us. 

So much regarding pregnancy and birth is mysterion.  A mystery hidden, yet somewhat known, but not fully until the sweet soul comes earth side.  

There is a great deal we understand about conception, development, fetal behavior, and the process of labor and birth.  At the same time there is a great deal (scientifically and physically) that is hidden and has yet to be revealed.

The sperm and egg join and thus begins the process of conception.  The embryo implants in the awaiting nutrient-rich lining of the uterus.  A life-giving placenta develops.  The fetus quickly develops and near the end of gestation can swallow fluid, cry, open his/her eyes, practice respirations, urinate, sleep, and hear sound inside the mother's body and those that are external.  All of this going on within the womb but yet, it is a mystery to those on the outside.  Labor commences.  Both mother and baby begin the work of birth.  A work that can be read and understood via texts and storytelling but still…a mystery as no two labors and births are *exactly* the same.   

All we see from the outside is a swelling belly.  We can see movement under the tight skin of her belly.  We can hear heart and placenta sounds.  Midwives palpate (feel) to determine fetal position and fetal weight (and I'm pretty good at that one ;) ).  The mother can describe what she is feeling and what her intuition is telling her.  She and the midwife can tune into intuition to get a feel for the time of day she might be in labor, what to be on the look out for, how she will handle labor, etc.  While there are theories regarding the exact reason to what triggers labor, the reason still remains a mystery.  

But it's all mysterion until this moment…..

I am a midwife.  

Right about now at least one (but probably all) of these thoughts are racing through your mind.

Midwives still exist??

You don’t look anything like the image of a midwife that I had in my head!!

Oh wow!!!!  That must be such an exciting and amazing job!

What does this have to do with liturgy?

Yes, midwives still exist.  Midwives never have disappeared.  In the United States, midwives were among the colonists.  It was unheard of for a man to attend to a woman in childbirth.  Around 1800 medical doctors (men), returning to America after attending medical schools abroad, stepped into the picture and a shift began.  The obstetrician appeared to “to stand before” and those women who held space “with woman” were pushed to the side.  New tools emerged.  Some life-saving and some absolutely absurd.  The number of women utilizing midwifery care shrunk under the growing movement of doctor-attended birth, medical organizations, and changes in the attitudes of women in society.  As the 19^th Century continued on it became evident to the medical community that there was money to be made in the field of obstetrics.  Thoughts among doctors began to spin towards the “what ifs” of women returning to midwives for their care (in pregnancy and other issues) and it was decided that midwives should go away for good.  Instead of finding ways to work together to provide care for women, the male doctors attacked midwives in print and went so far as to try and keep all women out of medical school.  By 1900 midwives served approximately one-half of expecting women and many of those women were in no position financially to afford a medical doctor for their care.  In 2009 it was reported that midwives were providing care for approximately 8% of women.  Today, approximately 1% of women are choosing to deliver at home with a midwife.  So yes, midwives still exist but the profession is not highly regarded in our society or seen for the value it brings to women.

I can probably guess the image of a midwife that flashed in your mind.  Was it something like this?

  

 Yeah.  No.  The “hippie” midwife does exist but I am not her.  I live my life with a certain amount of crunch but I don’t wear broom skirts or headbands with flowers in my hair.   And I wear a bra.  You’re welcome.  

Yes, this job is exciting and amazing!!  One part of my job is to sit “with women” and hold space with them as they do the work of birth.  When her partner looks dazed, I smile and reassure them that everything is as it should be.  When she finds herself in the moments of labor where she must completely and feels as though she will not succeed, I encourage and remind her of her strength.  She must lose herself in some way in order to find that strength and bring her baby earth side.  Witnessing women find that strength they didn’t know existed inside of them never gets old.  The transformation from woman to mother is miraculous.  The dance that a newborn must do to find his or her way earth side amazes me every time!  As exciting and amazing as it is, there are equally heartbreaking, frustrating, heart pounding, and cry-when-you-get-out-to-your-car moments.  Moments when I wonder, “WHY am I doing this??”  Moments when I wonder if what I am doing truly is worth it all.  How easy it would be to turn my back on midwifery and not press on towards the next birth.  But I don’t.  I gather myself back up, learn from each experience and mistakes when they happen, and move forward.  You do not choose midwifery.  You are chosen and called and must make the decision whether or not to follow that calling. 

To be honest, I am still sorting out what all exactly this has to do with liturgy.  Every body of worshippers in every faith has some flavor of liturgy.  Whether that liturgy is based on the pastor’s whim or made-up rituals or rooted in deep tradition and history, there is liturgy.  The more I learn about Church Tradition, the Liturgical year, the Liturgy of the Hours, and liturgy of the Catholic and Orthodox Church, the more beautiful comparisons I make between midwifery and the Liturgy of the Church (when you read “Church” on my blog know that I am referring to the Church as founded by Jesus Christ and the sacred Traditions dating back to the early church fathers).  My knowledge of midwifery is much greater than my knowledge of Tradition, church liturgy, and so on, which I’m positive will be evident (if not already) within this blog.  So bear with me, this is a new journey for me.  A journey that started as an ember several years ago just waiting to grow and become something greater.   That ember was sparked this past Summer at a conference our church hosted, Praxis.  Little ‘ol me sat among pastors and other church members who also shared that ember.  Each of us feeling drawn to the Church Tradition, living by the Liturgical year, and embracing the rich history of the Church.  I felt like I was with my people.  Slowly but surely I have begun incorporating liturgical living into my life.  But isn't everything?  

For those of you more familiar with liturgy than midwifery, perhaps you could see some comparisons above.  Or maybe it’s all in my head for right now.  For those of you who have no idea what liturgy or midwifery are, while I'll be the first to admit that I am not an eloquent writer, I hope you will continue to visit and read.  The purpose of this blog is to expand on what I shared above and also continue sharing and looking for comparisons as I am on this journey of a midwife and learning how to incorporate liturgy and Tradition into my life.  

Perhaps it’s not an accident that this blog was sparked on the cusp of Advent, the beginning of the Liturgical year, and finally published as we remember the birth of the One who changed it all.  This blog the beginning of a new season.  A season of anticipation and hope within my liturgical and midwifery journeys.  When these comparisons peek out at me it’s as though He’s showing me a way for me to better understand my call as a midwife and also understand living the liturgy of the Church.